It was still early on in Tales from the Crypt when Fright Night director Tom Holland delivered “Four-Sided Triangle,” an episode that made all those before it seem tasteful in comparison. Based on a story found in EC’s Shock SuspenStories, “Four-Sided Triangle” follows its source material in the same way that other Crypt episodes did: approximately. In particular, this one adaptation adds some meat to the comic’s skinny frame. The changes may be seen as unpleasant, even for this anthology show, but they’re also instrumental in making the episode memorable.
The comic begins with farmhand Annie already being infatuated with her inhuman lover, and aside from that, there’s little else to learn about her. Whereas in Holland and James Tugend’s screen adaptation, Annie’s equivalent of Mary Jo, played by future star Patricia Arquette, is not only given a backstory, she now has more agency in the episode’s outcome. And unlike in the comic, there is a bigger lead-in before reaching that fateful collision of lust, obsession and revenge.
The episode opens with Mary Jo awakening to the ire of Luisa Yates. The not-so-better half of this episode’s contemptuous couple is played by Susan Blommaert, an actor whose stern and commanding presence lends itself to such a display of power disparity and abuse. The cane-wielding Luisa doesn’t have a valid reason for disturbing Mary Jo’s slumber either; the harridan of this farmhouse demands coffee the second she wakes up.
Image: The cover of Shock SuspenStories #17 plus the last page of “4-Sided Triangle”. Artwork respectively by George Evans and Jack Kamen.
Mary Jo, a fugitive, is essentially trapped on this remote farm. Luisa’s husband picked her up outside the scene of the crime, a gas station, and has since offered her refuge, if you can even call it that. This hideaway comes with a high price, and Mary Jo pays dearly. When Luisa isn’t berating or beating Mary Jo, or just loading her up with wearying chores, George Yates (Chelcie Ross) is coming on to the young woman. His lechery and groping soon graduates to full-on assault out in the barn.
For its time, Tales from the Crypt pushed the envelope, but even it usually refrained from rape. Usually. There are those exceptions to go with “Four-Sided Triangle,” such as “Creep Course” and “Death of Some Salesmen.” This episode is the first, though, to depict the matter realistically and without humor. The victim is neither sexually sacrificed to a mummy, nor does she comply for the sake of her survival. No, Mary Jo is nearly taken against her will after George can no longer be satisfied by his Psycho-esque ogling through peepholes. And in response to her rejection, and to silence her pleas for help, the farmer then brains Mary Jo with a glass bottle. This uncomfortable moment sucks the air out of the episode as well as the whole show thus far. That general sense of macabre, unreal entertainment is suspended as Arquette’s character is shown bleeding out from her head and George frantically covers up the evidence.
The previous scene was rather persuasive and surprising, especially if you were expecting a largely unserious episode, however, the remainder of “Four-Sided Triangle” is in line with the best instances of just desserts that this series has to offer. As the alive but injured Mary Jo stumbles out into the cornfield, she meets the man of her dreams. Dreams of freedom, to be more accurate. What looks to be a bizarre case of love at first sight, as it turns out, is the hatching of a plan. Of course, when George and Luisa track down Mary Jo in that field, lying at the feet of that clown-faced scarecrow we saw moving only seconds earlier, all they find is a concussed, babbling woman. “I wanted him to make love to me” is the exact kind of crazy talk to throw Mary Jo’s captors off her scent.
Image: Chelcie Ross and Susan Blommaert in “Four-Sided Triangle”.
It’s arguable that Mary Jo does, or at least did, believe in the notion that the scarecrow is both living and her “man.” However, watching the episode in full alters the pitch of that tune, especially once the story comes in full view. Before then, Mary Jo is shown to be visibly smitten with the scarecrow, much to the chagrin of George, a man who can’t leave well enough alone. In due time, George’s interest in the now-lovestruck Mary Jo becomes more piqued than ever, and Luisa can’t help but take notice.
For it to work as well as it does, “Four-Sided Triangle” requires multiple things to happen at both the right time and the right place. It’s a series of conveniences that shouldn’t be scrutinized, for this is, after all, an episode based on an EC story. They weren’t known for their pristine logic. Nevertheless, Mary Jo has gone to considerable lengths to make George and Luisa jealous, albeit of different things. Her insight into their psyches, if we’re still assuming Mary Jo planned this from the start, is precise. She knew what would make her enemies tick, and she turned their baser urges against them. So, ultimately, Mary Jo is a far cry from the credulous and unscheming Annie.
Image: Mary Jo’s “man” in “Four-Sided Triangle”.
After George dons the scarecrow’s garb towards the episode’s end, in the hope that he can exploit Mary Jo’s delusion, and after the green-eyed Luisa reacts accordingly, Arquette’s character breaks character. Or so it seems. Her anguished howls as Luisa repeatedly pitchforks the scarecrow, to prove he’s inanimate, could be interpreted as Mary Jo not being cognizant this whole time, and only now is she coming to her senses. It seems likely that Mary Jo’s subconscious took over upon her head injury and carried out the bulk of her escape plan. Otherwise, the Mary Jo seen at the start of this episode would have never been able to leave the farm without her survival instinct taking over. Regardless of how Mary Jo’s exit strategy developed, or who was behind the wheel for most of its implementation, it’s done so in a gruesomely cathartic manner. The stunned Luisa feels the sharp end of her own pitchfork before the liberated Mary Jo prances off into the cornfield, singing “chicken pot pie and I don’t care, I’m free at last…”
While it verges on tawdry storytelling, Holland’s “Four-Sided Triangle” favorably improves on the comic. The basis provides fun and cheap thrills yet it’s also a tad too straightforward. The fleshier and more sinuous TV version packs a greater punch now that the main character has dimension and the conclusion isn’t so simple. It was episodes like this which demonstrated Tales from the Crypt’s knack for adaptation and how, in certain cases, it actually provided the works of EC more substance.
Image: Mike Vosburg’s artwork for “Four-Sided Triangle”.
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